It's Okay to Say No!

It's been said, "If you can't say no, what good is your yes!"  This is so true.  There is no faster way to create chaos in you life than not being able to say no.  It is always with the best of intentions, but suddenly you are buried under a slew of work and you can't give anything proper attention.

I know about this syndrome, because I am afflicted with it!

I keep learning and trying to improve, so I'll share with you a strategy that has really worked for me.  You can apply this to work or home.  I'll use work as an example.

First, identify the top 3-5 (never more than 5) projects that are your top priorities.  Socialize this list with your boss.  It doesn't mean that these are the only things you'll have to work on, but they are the things that you can't take your focus off of.  We'll call these your 'key initiatives'.

Next time you get an email or phone call asking you for a favor, or when you are on a conference call and there is a call to action and the phone goes silent (this is a killer for me)...resist the urge to give an immediate response.  Think if the action will progress one of your key initiatives.  If so, and you are able to do it...great, take on the action item.  If not, think about whether taking it on will derail one of your key initiatives.  If so, then do not take on this action.  Simple, right?

Okay, things aren't always so cut and dry...I know.  So, for those cases when you really feel it is something that needs to get done and you are the best person to do it, then determine the impact it will have on your key initiatives.  Then have a conversation with the stakeholders for the key initiative that will be impacted to see if it's acceptable to push the deadline.  If you end up with competing priorities from different sides,  you will need to decide or go to your manager for help prioritising your key initiatives. 

Having thought through the impacts, you can make a logical decision rather than an emotional one.  By setting realistic expectations and meeting deadlines, people will have greater confidence in you, you will be happier, and you will also be able to jump in and  help when something urgent is truly needed.