Harness the Holidays

Personally, I love the holidays.  I love the energy and the decorations and even hearing the same 30 familiar songs over and over.  I love getting together with family.  I love the holiday outfits, the holiday activities and yep, even the holiday shopping!

You don't have to talk to too many people however to realize that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for this magical time of year.  In fact, most people I talk to say that the holidays are hectic, harried and for those who are truly disenchanted, horrific.

Fear not friends, I'm here to help.  Below are a few ideas on how to put the happy back in your holidays.

1) Own your holiday experience! Close your eyes and picture the holidays as you would like them to be.  Chances are, you'll be thinking about some special memories from holidays past...and likely they won't have anything to do with gifts or amazing holiday recipes.  Choose and write down a few (just a few) things that would make the holidays feel like they 'should'.  Now put yourself in that mind space. Now live there for the next 6 weeks.  Spend time on the things that make you happy...the things that will give you that warm fuzzy feeling you just thought about.  Let the other things go...seriously...I promise you won't miss them.  There is no right or wrong way to celebrate.

2) Take back your holiday calendar.  Go get your calendar...right now...I'll wait.  Okay, now write down all of the commitments you know of at this point through the end of the year.  Look at the month of December...does it have enough white space?  Think about the things that you really want to do...is there time left for them?  Pick days/times and schedule them, even if it is baking cookies with your kids, catching up with a friend for coffee, etc.  If you don't have your own priorities on the calendar, it's easy to push them off (and usually never get to them), when another invitation pops up.

3) Separate Buying from Shopping.  For many people, the gift buying is what spoils their holiday time.  Not that they don't want to give, it's the buying itself (the crowds, the rush, the pressure).  If this is you, do the majority of your shopping online and then make a few special trips to the store for the last few items.  You will enjoy the shopping experience so much more when you aren't rushing from store to store buying in mass.  Take in the people, the sites, the sounds, the smells.  If you aren't enjoying it, go home and order the rest online. 

Happy Holidays!

It's Okay to Say No!

It's been said, "If you can't say no, what good is your yes!"  This is so true.  There is no faster way to create chaos in you life than not being able to say no.  It is always with the best of intentions, but suddenly you are buried under a slew of work and you can't give anything proper attention.

I know about this syndrome, because I am afflicted with it!

I keep learning and trying to improve, so I'll share with you a strategy that has really worked for me.  You can apply this to work or home.  I'll use work as an example.

First, identify the top 3-5 (never more than 5) projects that are your top priorities.  Socialize this list with your boss.  It doesn't mean that these are the only things you'll have to work on, but they are the things that you can't take your focus off of.  We'll call these your 'key initiatives'.

Next time you get an email or phone call asking you for a favor, or when you are on a conference call and there is a call to action and the phone goes silent (this is a killer for me)...resist the urge to give an immediate response.  Think if the action will progress one of your key initiatives.  If so, and you are able to do it...great, take on the action item.  If not, think about whether taking it on will derail one of your key initiatives.  If so, then do not take on this action.  Simple, right?

Okay, things aren't always so cut and dry...I know.  So, for those cases when you really feel it is something that needs to get done and you are the best person to do it, then determine the impact it will have on your key initiatives.  Then have a conversation with the stakeholders for the key initiative that will be impacted to see if it's acceptable to push the deadline.  If you end up with competing priorities from different sides,  you will need to decide or go to your manager for help prioritising your key initiatives. 

Having thought through the impacts, you can make a logical decision rather than an emotional one.  By setting realistic expectations and meeting deadlines, people will have greater confidence in you, you will be happier, and you will also be able to jump in and  help when something urgent is truly needed. 

Kids and Cash

Should kids get an allowance?  How young is too young?  Is it tied to chores?  How much do they get?  Do you charge them tax? There are so many schools of thought on this subject, I'd love to hear from others what their system is and why they love it.

Here's how it works at our house:  Kids get an allowance starting at age 5 (before that they just don't get it) and ending at age 15 (when they turn 16, I expect them to get someone else to pay them). Each child gets $1 for whatever age they are.  For example, the 7 year olds get $7/week.  They all have chores and tasks, but that is not directly tied to their allowance.  They are expected to help around the house and do "their part" because they are part of the family, not because they are being paid.

Okay, so back to the example of the $7.  We have them split that into Save, Give, Spend.  For $7, we would put $3 to Save, $1 to Give, $3 to Spend.  They can 'give' their $1/week to a charity, put it in the church collection basket, or some other creative way to pay it forward that they come up with.

I (try to) take them to the bank every week to deposit their "save" money into their savings accounts.  They really like watching their accounts grow (even though it is only a bit at a time).  But, when we can't make it, we just keep the money separated until we get there and take whatever has accumulated.  Same for give and spend really.  The key is keeping it all separate until you have a chance to do something with it.

There are so many options to help with this.  For you crafty people, decorated mason jars work great.  For those that like a more low key approach, labeled baggies work just fine.  I wanted something cute that wouldn't take up as much room as the mason jar approach, and found these adorable three compartment money holders on Etsy. 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/112442077/girls-give-spend-save-trifold-wallet-in?ref=shop_home_active_2

In general, I believe what is important is to talk to your kids about money, and teach them how to balance and budget.  Whether it is quarters rather than dollars, or $20s instead of singles, the point is that they get some practice with money while they are young and the stakes are low. 

Budgets: Boring or Beautiful?

The mere mention of the word 'budget' can conjure up some very negative feelings.  It sounds restrictive and serious.  To me, I see a budget as freedom.  Freedom from the guessing, freedom from the worry, and freedom from the guilt of spending.

A direct comparison to the word "diet" jumps to mind.  Again, it makes us feel like we are being denied something.  However, your diet by definition is what you eat (not what you don't).  As such, your budget is what you spend (not what you can't have).

I've always used a budget in some form for as far back as I can remember.  In the beginning, it was a written out list of high level expenses, which advanced over time to a rather detailed (although still simple) spreadsheet, to now using online tools like Mint.com (free for basic usage).  No matter what tool I've used though, the premise has been the same; I want to know where my money is going.  The versions I have used are typically based on a cash flow model.  This assures that I have enough money in hand when big expenses (Christmas, Property Taxes, etc) come up.  I like to detail out each expense category.  In my case, I use categories and subcategories, because I'm a bit of a nut and I require this level of information. For example, I have a category for Food.  From there I sub-categorize by Groceries, Dining Out and School Lunches.  If you have no need for that detail, keep it at the high level category. 

The important thing in your budget is being realistic.  If you HAVE to have a Starbucks coffee every morning, then add the line in for Starbucks.  If your joy in life is a monthly pedicure...no problem...put it in.  Once these luxuries become part of the budget, then you can stop fretting whether to spend the money on them.  Just, let it go and think "it's in the budget". Add in all of the things that make up your lifestyle.  Don't forget those occasional expenses (car insurance, Grandma's birthday, etc).  Then look at the total expenses versus what you are bringing in, and what you stash away for savings each month.  If the numbers work, congrats and enjoy.  If things are looking a little upside down, then start evaluating the line items until you reach a balance. 

A sound budget is a key step on the journey to a simplified life!

Happy National Clean Your Junk Drawer Day!!

Alright, I made that up.  But, it is so important to your psyche it should be a day!  Have you had that experience where you make your bed for the first time in forever, and every time you walk past your room you feel a sense of relief and/or accomplishment?  It makes you feel great that there is that one part of your life that is in order, so it's a good day.  Think of how many times you yank open the junk drawer in a day, and imagine having that little boost of confidence every time.

You may be thinking...hang on...not the junk drawer...that is SUPPOSED to be a mess.  Trust me. Take 15 minutes to do this, and you will thank yourself dozens of times this week.  This is a great project for the kids if you have any at the 'I want to help' age.  They are experts at sorting! No idea where to start?

1) Empty the drawer, completely.  Trying to rearrange things in that little space will only frustrate you.

2) Separate into two piles; what belongs in the drawer, and what doesn't.  Move the "doesn't" pile out of the way for now.

3) Group like things. HINT: Ponytail holders make sturdy substitutes for rubberbands (that always break) to put around pens/pencils/markers.

4) Wipe out the drawer so it is clean and dry before putting anything back.

5) Arrange your items back in the drawer.  HINT: Put the screwdriver that you rarely need in the back and pens in the front so they are easily accessible (or whatever makes sense for your life).

6) Start thanking yourself.

Worst. Gift. Ever. (or was it?)

I don't remember if it was Mother's Day, or my birthday or some other holiday...I do remember opening the medium sized, not very heavy, uh...creatively wrapped box with great anticipation. 
As the paper ripped, I looked at the side of the box, a bit perplexed.  I could feel my lips starting to purse and stopped them in time to get out a lame, "Wow...okay".  I looked again at the fairly large, twin-sided, hotel-style cereal dispenser.  What on earth was I supposed to do with this?

You see, my husband is not one to ask me what I want and then run to the store to get it.  He knows me pretty well and usually strikes out on his own for gift finding.  While his picks are misses as often as hits, I always appreciate the thought.  I think it is special that even as busy as we are, he puts in an effort to search for something he believes will improve my life or make me happy. 

He could immediately tell it was a miss.  I was trying to hide it (at least a little) because as I said, the thought is always appreciated.  But, I couldn't understand what he was thinking with this one.  I know I'm into organizing, but this just seemed like one more thing to junk up my counter and another thing for the kids to make a mess with.  Worst. Gift. Ever!

We've always had a policy that you don't have to love a gift, and it is okay to return it.  This is necessary if you are going to buy into not getting 'pre-approval' for gift ideas.  Otherwise, there will be a lot of wasted money and hurt feelings.  

For some reason though, I didn't get rid of it.  I stuffed it in a rarely accessed cabinet and other than a few laughs with my friends over the gift choice, forgot about it...until June of last year.

It had been about 3 years since it I had put it in there.  I pulled it out, set the never opened box on the counter and had a little giggle remembering the day I received it.  Suddenly, something hit me.  The kids had kept their morning schedules from school and were waking us up every day at 7am (in the summer).  What if I actually USE this thing and they can get themselves cereal in the morning?  30 extra minutes of sleep?  Every day?

We used it all summer, packed it away for the school year, and pulled it back out this summer (so as not to ruin the novelty for the fickle kids).  It makes them feel like big kids, and gives us some much needed extra snooze minutes.  As I pack it back away now that school is back in session, all I can think to say is...Best. Gift. Ever!!!

Organize the Chaos, Simplify Your Life

Life is busy!  How many times have you asked a friend "How are you?" and the answer is "I'm just so busy".  Or you compare schedules with that same friend and you end up penciling something in for next quarter?  Think about it.  Do you know of anyone who isn't busy?  If you do, I bet you feel a little sorry for them.  Most of us wouldn't change our busy lives even if it's on the top of our "what makes life hard" list. In most cases we are doing what we want to do...experiencing and living life...soaking up as much of it as we can.  Life is so full of exciting, interesting things and we want it all.  In fact, being busy is almost a badge of honor these days. 

As a mother of 5 with a full time job and a graduate program I'm finishing up, I am not in a position to preach about slowing down.  In fact, with all of that going on, my organization skills have been seriously tested the last year or so.  That has required me to sharpen my current skills and look for new ways to contain the chaos.  My goal is to share how organizing my space, time, and thoughts has helped me gain control and increase efficiency in my life...and how you can too.  I'll also take you along on the journey as I discover new ideas, techniques and products and determine how they can help (or not help in some cases) in the quest for simplification.

Whether you are a fellow organization enthusiast, or your organized side has been well hidden for a long time, I hope that you will find this blog useful.  I've started a list of topics, (of course); however, leave a comment if there is a topic you'd like to discuss and I will address it.  Not sure? Check back next week and I'll help you figure out where your 'time sucks' are.

Welcome to Organized Chaos; Simplified Life.   

Shellie