Change is coming. Surprised?

I walk into my favorite grocery store, and proceed along my familiar path.  Almost mindlessly, I'm pulling our standard items into the cart, then wait...what?  I come to the first item on my list that isn't in its regular place.  I make the assumption (grounded in hope) that this must mean it is out of stock. I continue, but there is a nagging feeling in my stomach.  Next aisle, oh no, half the shelves are empty, and what is there isn't in the right place.  You guessed it...a product placement re-plan. Ugh, I don't have time for this...can't anything be easy!?!  Overreaction?  Of course.  The marketer in me understands why this is important to their business, but this unplanned disruption of my routine is still unwelcome.  In a world where change is constant, why is it always so unexpected?

The example above may seem trivial, but it is a simple way of understanding how change affects us and how to deal with it in a more productive way.

Acknowledge the change.  Be aware of your surroundings and know when things are changing.  Understand what is changing and how it might affect you (it's possible it won't and you can stop worrying)

Accept or Reject.  Of course, there are situations where life forces change on you.  However, just as often, we have a choice.  While we can't necessarily stop the change from coming, we can determine how to respond.  In my grocery story, I could choose to learn the new layout or simply go to another store that I'm familiar with.

Make a Plan. Whether the change is a simple one like a grocery layout or something bigger like a re-org at your workplace, you will need a plan of how to manage the change.  Think through what other inputs you need, and what steps you need to take in order to absorb the change.

Give it Time.  Change is constant, and some changes will be easier than others.  For those that are not a big deal, try not to turn them into one.  For those that are, give yourself a little time to adjust.

Gratitude Journal

Many of us have just spent several days recalling all of the blessings in our lives. It makes us feel good inside to realize how fortunate we are. So, doesn't it make sense that doing so on a daily basis would have an even greater positive effect?  If you agree, now is a great time to start a gratitude journal. 

I have kept a gratitude journal for years. While I usually write in it religiously, I have had times where I struggle to get to it once a week.  I can honestly say when I write consistently, it helps me be more positive and focused. A typical entry consists of a list of 5 things I'm grateful for that day.  Sometimes that comes out in paragraphs, sometimes in a single word or sentence for each item.  I have a pretty great life, so there are often many more things that come to mind than five.  However, on rougher days, I really have to dig in to come up with one, much less five things.  On those day, I challenge myself to go beyond listing the obvious "my home"  "my family" "my kids"...although I will admit there are days when having five kids to list separately comes in handy. :)  I digress.  On the tough days, I really try to get a little deeper and remember the kind stranger that held the door for me...the unexpected text from a friend just saying hello...a particularly tender or funny moment with one of the kids...the silver lining that the repair man I had to call could actually repair whatever broke and it doesn't need to be replaced...or maybe just being grateful I didn't run into anyone I knew in the grocery that night because my bad day was written all over me.  It's an effective alternative to a pity party. 

What does any of this have to being organized?  Great question. Journaling (gratitude or otherwise) forces you to take a little time to sort your thoughts.  This alone means that you aren't letting chaos rule your world (at least for a little while).

Okay, ready to get started?  My advice, keep it simple.  Any old notebook will do, or if you want a special journal, you can find them nearly anywhere.  Just make sure the pages are not predated...this is a guilt free exercise and beating yourself up because you missed a day is SO not the point.  Don't put too many rules around it.  Write when you can.  If 5 words is all you have time for...don't feel bad, celebrate!  You did it!  Five is too many?  Write one thing every day. One thing, one word, one sentence.  Just something that you are grateful for.  I would venture to guess it will change your outlook and perhaps your gratitude journal will even make the list one day of things you are grateful for!

Organizing for Travel

Even for those that have mastered the art of "fly by the seat of your pants" (this is not me, I'm terrible at that), being organized during travel can save a lot of worry and headaches.  Here are my top 5 tips for organized travel.

1)  Prepare a Packet with Key Information - Include your flight information, hotel address, directions if you aren't using (or don't trust) GPS, a list of additional stops/destinations with addresses and phone numbers.  By doing this ahead, you'll save yourself time while on your trip and have peace of mind knowing it is all at your fingertips.

2) Pack light, but within reason.  I went on a family vacation once, and I thought I'd impress everyone with my 'light packing' skills.  Let me tell you, huge mistake.  The whole vacation I kept thinking, "I wish I had this, I wish I had that."  Don't go overboard, but take what you need.  If you want that special pair of shoes to go with your outfit, throw them in...you won't regret it.

3) Make a list ahead of time, but don't pack ahead.  I know some won't agree with this.  Making a list ahead of time makes complete sense.  As you think of things, you add them to the list.  But, wait until you have time to spend 1 hour packing, then whip down the list and pack it up.  If you pack a little at a time, you lose track, spend lots of time going back through to remember what you already did and are much more likely to forget something.  List upfront.  Pack all at once.

4) Communicate your plans to friends and family.  Let them know how long you'll be gone, forward an itinerary to someone that can reach you in case of an emergency at home. IMPORTANT DISTINCTION: Informing friends and family is NOT the same as posting on Facebook that you'll be gone for two weeks on your dream vacation in another country.  If you are going to do this, just go ahead and also post that you'll leave a spare key under the mat for any bad guys who may want to visit your home while you are out. Common sense, I know, but it is amazing how many people do this!

5) Always, always, have one bag packed with 1 day/night essentials.  Even if you are driving, you should have a separate bag packed with one set of clothes, some toiletries, etc that each person traveling would need if you need to make an unplanned stop.  Obviously, if traveling by air, this is a must!  If your luggage has never been lost, knock on wood now, and I will pray for you it never is.  But, pack an essentials bag, just in case.

Happy Travels!

Kids and Cash

Should kids get an allowance?  How young is too young?  Is it tied to chores?  How much do they get?  Do you charge them tax? There are so many schools of thought on this subject, I'd love to hear from others what their system is and why they love it.

Here's how it works at our house:  Kids get an allowance starting at age 5 (before that they just don't get it) and ending at age 15 (when they turn 16, I expect them to get someone else to pay them). Each child gets $1 for whatever age they are.  For example, the 7 year olds get $7/week.  They all have chores and tasks, but that is not directly tied to their allowance.  They are expected to help around the house and do "their part" because they are part of the family, not because they are being paid.

Okay, so back to the example of the $7.  We have them split that into Save, Give, Spend.  For $7, we would put $3 to Save, $1 to Give, $3 to Spend.  They can 'give' their $1/week to a charity, put it in the church collection basket, or some other creative way to pay it forward that they come up with.

I (try to) take them to the bank every week to deposit their "save" money into their savings accounts.  They really like watching their accounts grow (even though it is only a bit at a time).  But, when we can't make it, we just keep the money separated until we get there and take whatever has accumulated.  Same for give and spend really.  The key is keeping it all separate until you have a chance to do something with it.

There are so many options to help with this.  For you crafty people, decorated mason jars work great.  For those that like a more low key approach, labeled baggies work just fine.  I wanted something cute that wouldn't take up as much room as the mason jar approach, and found these adorable three compartment money holders on Etsy. 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/112442077/girls-give-spend-save-trifold-wallet-in?ref=shop_home_active_2

In general, I believe what is important is to talk to your kids about money, and teach them how to balance and budget.  Whether it is quarters rather than dollars, or $20s instead of singles, the point is that they get some practice with money while they are young and the stakes are low. 

Budgets: Boring or Beautiful?

The mere mention of the word 'budget' can conjure up some very negative feelings.  It sounds restrictive and serious.  To me, I see a budget as freedom.  Freedom from the guessing, freedom from the worry, and freedom from the guilt of spending.

A direct comparison to the word "diet" jumps to mind.  Again, it makes us feel like we are being denied something.  However, your diet by definition is what you eat (not what you don't).  As such, your budget is what you spend (not what you can't have).

I've always used a budget in some form for as far back as I can remember.  In the beginning, it was a written out list of high level expenses, which advanced over time to a rather detailed (although still simple) spreadsheet, to now using online tools like Mint.com (free for basic usage).  No matter what tool I've used though, the premise has been the same; I want to know where my money is going.  The versions I have used are typically based on a cash flow model.  This assures that I have enough money in hand when big expenses (Christmas, Property Taxes, etc) come up.  I like to detail out each expense category.  In my case, I use categories and subcategories, because I'm a bit of a nut and I require this level of information. For example, I have a category for Food.  From there I sub-categorize by Groceries, Dining Out and School Lunches.  If you have no need for that detail, keep it at the high level category. 

The important thing in your budget is being realistic.  If you HAVE to have a Starbucks coffee every morning, then add the line in for Starbucks.  If your joy in life is a monthly pedicure...no problem...put it in.  Once these luxuries become part of the budget, then you can stop fretting whether to spend the money on them.  Just, let it go and think "it's in the budget". Add in all of the things that make up your lifestyle.  Don't forget those occasional expenses (car insurance, Grandma's birthday, etc).  Then look at the total expenses versus what you are bringing in, and what you stash away for savings each month.  If the numbers work, congrats and enjoy.  If things are looking a little upside down, then start evaluating the line items until you reach a balance. 

A sound budget is a key step on the journey to a simplified life!

Happy National Clean Your Junk Drawer Day!!

Alright, I made that up.  But, it is so important to your psyche it should be a day!  Have you had that experience where you make your bed for the first time in forever, and every time you walk past your room you feel a sense of relief and/or accomplishment?  It makes you feel great that there is that one part of your life that is in order, so it's a good day.  Think of how many times you yank open the junk drawer in a day, and imagine having that little boost of confidence every time.

You may be thinking...hang on...not the junk drawer...that is SUPPOSED to be a mess.  Trust me. Take 15 minutes to do this, and you will thank yourself dozens of times this week.  This is a great project for the kids if you have any at the 'I want to help' age.  They are experts at sorting! No idea where to start?

1) Empty the drawer, completely.  Trying to rearrange things in that little space will only frustrate you.

2) Separate into two piles; what belongs in the drawer, and what doesn't.  Move the "doesn't" pile out of the way for now.

3) Group like things. HINT: Ponytail holders make sturdy substitutes for rubberbands (that always break) to put around pens/pencils/markers.

4) Wipe out the drawer so it is clean and dry before putting anything back.

5) Arrange your items back in the drawer.  HINT: Put the screwdriver that you rarely need in the back and pens in the front so they are easily accessible (or whatever makes sense for your life).

6) Start thanking yourself.