Gratitude Journal

Many of us have just spent several days recalling all of the blessings in our lives. It makes us feel good inside to realize how fortunate we are. So, doesn't it make sense that doing so on a daily basis would have an even greater positive effect?  If you agree, now is a great time to start a gratitude journal. 

I have kept a gratitude journal for years. While I usually write in it religiously, I have had times where I struggle to get to it once a week.  I can honestly say when I write consistently, it helps me be more positive and focused. A typical entry consists of a list of 5 things I'm grateful for that day.  Sometimes that comes out in paragraphs, sometimes in a single word or sentence for each item.  I have a pretty great life, so there are often many more things that come to mind than five.  However, on rougher days, I really have to dig in to come up with one, much less five things.  On those day, I challenge myself to go beyond listing the obvious "my home"  "my family" "my kids"...although I will admit there are days when having five kids to list separately comes in handy. :)  I digress.  On the tough days, I really try to get a little deeper and remember the kind stranger that held the door for me...the unexpected text from a friend just saying hello...a particularly tender or funny moment with one of the kids...the silver lining that the repair man I had to call could actually repair whatever broke and it doesn't need to be replaced...or maybe just being grateful I didn't run into anyone I knew in the grocery that night because my bad day was written all over me.  It's an effective alternative to a pity party. 

What does any of this have to being organized?  Great question. Journaling (gratitude or otherwise) forces you to take a little time to sort your thoughts.  This alone means that you aren't letting chaos rule your world (at least for a little while).

Okay, ready to get started?  My advice, keep it simple.  Any old notebook will do, or if you want a special journal, you can find them nearly anywhere.  Just make sure the pages are not predated...this is a guilt free exercise and beating yourself up because you missed a day is SO not the point.  Don't put too many rules around it.  Write when you can.  If 5 words is all you have time for...don't feel bad, celebrate!  You did it!  Five is too many?  Write one thing every day. One thing, one word, one sentence.  Just something that you are grateful for.  I would venture to guess it will change your outlook and perhaps your gratitude journal will even make the list one day of things you are grateful for!

Harness the Holidays

Personally, I love the holidays.  I love the energy and the decorations and even hearing the same 30 familiar songs over and over.  I love getting together with family.  I love the holiday outfits, the holiday activities and yep, even the holiday shopping!

You don't have to talk to too many people however to realize that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for this magical time of year.  In fact, most people I talk to say that the holidays are hectic, harried and for those who are truly disenchanted, horrific.

Fear not friends, I'm here to help.  Below are a few ideas on how to put the happy back in your holidays.

1) Own your holiday experience! Close your eyes and picture the holidays as you would like them to be.  Chances are, you'll be thinking about some special memories from holidays past...and likely they won't have anything to do with gifts or amazing holiday recipes.  Choose and write down a few (just a few) things that would make the holidays feel like they 'should'.  Now put yourself in that mind space. Now live there for the next 6 weeks.  Spend time on the things that make you happy...the things that will give you that warm fuzzy feeling you just thought about.  Let the other things go...seriously...I promise you won't miss them.  There is no right or wrong way to celebrate.

2) Take back your holiday calendar.  Go get your calendar...right now...I'll wait.  Okay, now write down all of the commitments you know of at this point through the end of the year.  Look at the month of December...does it have enough white space?  Think about the things that you really want to do...is there time left for them?  Pick days/times and schedule them, even if it is baking cookies with your kids, catching up with a friend for coffee, etc.  If you don't have your own priorities on the calendar, it's easy to push them off (and usually never get to them), when another invitation pops up.

3) Separate Buying from Shopping.  For many people, the gift buying is what spoils their holiday time.  Not that they don't want to give, it's the buying itself (the crowds, the rush, the pressure).  If this is you, do the majority of your shopping online and then make a few special trips to the store for the last few items.  You will enjoy the shopping experience so much more when you aren't rushing from store to store buying in mass.  Take in the people, the sites, the sounds, the smells.  If you aren't enjoying it, go home and order the rest online. 

Happy Holidays!

Organizing for Travel

Even for those that have mastered the art of "fly by the seat of your pants" (this is not me, I'm terrible at that), being organized during travel can save a lot of worry and headaches.  Here are my top 5 tips for organized travel.

1)  Prepare a Packet with Key Information - Include your flight information, hotel address, directions if you aren't using (or don't trust) GPS, a list of additional stops/destinations with addresses and phone numbers.  By doing this ahead, you'll save yourself time while on your trip and have peace of mind knowing it is all at your fingertips.

2) Pack light, but within reason.  I went on a family vacation once, and I thought I'd impress everyone with my 'light packing' skills.  Let me tell you, huge mistake.  The whole vacation I kept thinking, "I wish I had this, I wish I had that."  Don't go overboard, but take what you need.  If you want that special pair of shoes to go with your outfit, throw them in...you won't regret it.

3) Make a list ahead of time, but don't pack ahead.  I know some won't agree with this.  Making a list ahead of time makes complete sense.  As you think of things, you add them to the list.  But, wait until you have time to spend 1 hour packing, then whip down the list and pack it up.  If you pack a little at a time, you lose track, spend lots of time going back through to remember what you already did and are much more likely to forget something.  List upfront.  Pack all at once.

4) Communicate your plans to friends and family.  Let them know how long you'll be gone, forward an itinerary to someone that can reach you in case of an emergency at home. IMPORTANT DISTINCTION: Informing friends and family is NOT the same as posting on Facebook that you'll be gone for two weeks on your dream vacation in another country.  If you are going to do this, just go ahead and also post that you'll leave a spare key under the mat for any bad guys who may want to visit your home while you are out. Common sense, I know, but it is amazing how many people do this!

5) Always, always, have one bag packed with 1 day/night essentials.  Even if you are driving, you should have a separate bag packed with one set of clothes, some toiletries, etc that each person traveling would need if you need to make an unplanned stop.  Obviously, if traveling by air, this is a must!  If your luggage has never been lost, knock on wood now, and I will pray for you it never is.  But, pack an essentials bag, just in case.

Happy Travels!

It's Okay to Say No!

It's been said, "If you can't say no, what good is your yes!"  This is so true.  There is no faster way to create chaos in you life than not being able to say no.  It is always with the best of intentions, but suddenly you are buried under a slew of work and you can't give anything proper attention.

I know about this syndrome, because I am afflicted with it!

I keep learning and trying to improve, so I'll share with you a strategy that has really worked for me.  You can apply this to work or home.  I'll use work as an example.

First, identify the top 3-5 (never more than 5) projects that are your top priorities.  Socialize this list with your boss.  It doesn't mean that these are the only things you'll have to work on, but they are the things that you can't take your focus off of.  We'll call these your 'key initiatives'.

Next time you get an email or phone call asking you for a favor, or when you are on a conference call and there is a call to action and the phone goes silent (this is a killer for me)...resist the urge to give an immediate response.  Think if the action will progress one of your key initiatives.  If so, and you are able to do it...great, take on the action item.  If not, think about whether taking it on will derail one of your key initiatives.  If so, then do not take on this action.  Simple, right?

Okay, things aren't always so cut and dry...I know.  So, for those cases when you really feel it is something that needs to get done and you are the best person to do it, then determine the impact it will have on your key initiatives.  Then have a conversation with the stakeholders for the key initiative that will be impacted to see if it's acceptable to push the deadline.  If you end up with competing priorities from different sides,  you will need to decide or go to your manager for help prioritising your key initiatives. 

Having thought through the impacts, you can make a logical decision rather than an emotional one.  By setting realistic expectations and meeting deadlines, people will have greater confidence in you, you will be happier, and you will also be able to jump in and  help when something urgent is truly needed. 

Ending Meeting Mayhem: Join Me?

How many times a week do you walk out of a meeting or hang up from a conference call and wish you had that hour of your life back?  We've all been to these, and it's likely we've all led them from time to time to.  Perhaps if we start setting a better standard, others will join in and we can put an end to meeting mayhem!  Here are some things I've been trying and have had a lot of success with!

PLANNING THE MEETING (Note, I said planning, not scheduling).

• Really think about if you even need a meeting?  Sometimes a well crafted email is just as effective and can allow people time to think and respond at their convenience.
• Know the goal.  If you can't state it, you aren't ready to schedule a meeting.
• Prepare an agenda in advance.  Send it out with the meeting invite or at least 24 hours prior to the meeting.  
• Based on your goal and agenda, schedule the meeting with the right attendees and for the appropriate length of time.  (Ever been invited to a meeting and the KEY person to provide input isn't there...everyone swims around for 30 minutes before deciding to schedule a do over.  UGH!).

LEADING THE MEETING:

• Be on time!  Enough said.
• Start on time.  This one is hard for me, because I don't like being interrupted by the latecomers, so I tend to wait on them to start.  However, I believe if you start on time, people will know to come to your meetings on time as they won't like walking/dialing into an ongoing meeting.
• Make sure everyone is clear on the goal of the meeting and ask if there are any questions on the agenda (you don't need to read it because you sent it out in advance).  Be prepared and assume your attendees are.  After a few meetings, they will catch on and be ready for you.
• Be a good facilitator.  Make sure everyone you invited has a voice (you invited them on purpose).  Try to do more listening than talking.
• Be prepared to handle hearing nothing but the crickets.  If nobody is speaking up, or it is obvious people are multitasking, have some strategies to reign them in.  Calling them by name and asking a question may seem third grade teacher-ish, but it gets people's attention.
• Leave a few minutes at the end to do the following: ask for final thoughts, provide a quick (brevity is a virtue) recap of the key outcomes and next steps with owners.

AFTER THE MEETING:

• No longer than 1 day after the meeting (I like to do this within the hour while it is still fresh, but that is not always feasible), send a recap email to the participants.  This should include who attended, who was absent, key outcomes of the meeting and next steps with owners.
• Schedule your follow up call, only if needed.

Following these simple hints will lead you to fewer meetings (you won't have all those reschedules), better participation in the meetings you have, and people who learn to love you for respecting their time!

Kids and Cash

Should kids get an allowance?  How young is too young?  Is it tied to chores?  How much do they get?  Do you charge them tax? There are so many schools of thought on this subject, I'd love to hear from others what their system is and why they love it.

Here's how it works at our house:  Kids get an allowance starting at age 5 (before that they just don't get it) and ending at age 15 (when they turn 16, I expect them to get someone else to pay them). Each child gets $1 for whatever age they are.  For example, the 7 year olds get $7/week.  They all have chores and tasks, but that is not directly tied to their allowance.  They are expected to help around the house and do "their part" because they are part of the family, not because they are being paid.

Okay, so back to the example of the $7.  We have them split that into Save, Give, Spend.  For $7, we would put $3 to Save, $1 to Give, $3 to Spend.  They can 'give' their $1/week to a charity, put it in the church collection basket, or some other creative way to pay it forward that they come up with.

I (try to) take them to the bank every week to deposit their "save" money into their savings accounts.  They really like watching their accounts grow (even though it is only a bit at a time).  But, when we can't make it, we just keep the money separated until we get there and take whatever has accumulated.  Same for give and spend really.  The key is keeping it all separate until you have a chance to do something with it.

There are so many options to help with this.  For you crafty people, decorated mason jars work great.  For those that like a more low key approach, labeled baggies work just fine.  I wanted something cute that wouldn't take up as much room as the mason jar approach, and found these adorable three compartment money holders on Etsy. 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/112442077/girls-give-spend-save-trifold-wallet-in?ref=shop_home_active_2

In general, I believe what is important is to talk to your kids about money, and teach them how to balance and budget.  Whether it is quarters rather than dollars, or $20s instead of singles, the point is that they get some practice with money while they are young and the stakes are low. 

Budgets: Boring or Beautiful?

The mere mention of the word 'budget' can conjure up some very negative feelings.  It sounds restrictive and serious.  To me, I see a budget as freedom.  Freedom from the guessing, freedom from the worry, and freedom from the guilt of spending.

A direct comparison to the word "diet" jumps to mind.  Again, it makes us feel like we are being denied something.  However, your diet by definition is what you eat (not what you don't).  As such, your budget is what you spend (not what you can't have).

I've always used a budget in some form for as far back as I can remember.  In the beginning, it was a written out list of high level expenses, which advanced over time to a rather detailed (although still simple) spreadsheet, to now using online tools like Mint.com (free for basic usage).  No matter what tool I've used though, the premise has been the same; I want to know where my money is going.  The versions I have used are typically based on a cash flow model.  This assures that I have enough money in hand when big expenses (Christmas, Property Taxes, etc) come up.  I like to detail out each expense category.  In my case, I use categories and subcategories, because I'm a bit of a nut and I require this level of information. For example, I have a category for Food.  From there I sub-categorize by Groceries, Dining Out and School Lunches.  If you have no need for that detail, keep it at the high level category. 

The important thing in your budget is being realistic.  If you HAVE to have a Starbucks coffee every morning, then add the line in for Starbucks.  If your joy in life is a monthly pedicure...no problem...put it in.  Once these luxuries become part of the budget, then you can stop fretting whether to spend the money on them.  Just, let it go and think "it's in the budget". Add in all of the things that make up your lifestyle.  Don't forget those occasional expenses (car insurance, Grandma's birthday, etc).  Then look at the total expenses versus what you are bringing in, and what you stash away for savings each month.  If the numbers work, congrats and enjoy.  If things are looking a little upside down, then start evaluating the line items until you reach a balance. 

A sound budget is a key step on the journey to a simplified life!